Blog Yellek

I’ve been learning a lot about pride and self image over the past couple of days. Yesterday I had my first experience of the Centrelink machine. I rocked up at 10 past 9 to a seminar on what I was getting myself into with a whole bunch of other people in the same position. I dressed up a bit for the occasion. I don’t mean I dressed up in a suit and tie but I was certainly better dressed than I normally would be on a weekday. In retrospect it was my way of saying that “I may be here with all you people but I don’t belong”, a matter of my foolish pride if ever I saw one. You see that perception that I had, and about which God convicted me this morning, is all about the difference between the way that we see the world and the way that God sees the world.

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Over the past few days I have been doing a lot of thinking about my future and how God figures in it and what He is doing with me. The temptation that I am facing is to be angry with God about what He is doing to me and demand that He fixes things now. When I look at all the stuff I do for God (worship, prayer, fasting) my cry is don’t I deserve better than this ?

Then I had a good hard look at myself. If I am doing all of those things just so that God will bless me then I have missed the point entirely. I should be doing them because I worship the creator of the universe who deserves all of this and more just for who He is regardless of where I am at. When you look at it this way it shows up the pride and selfish expectation that can so easily creep into the things we do for Jesus. I resolved that I would keep on giving God my all no matter where that left me because, after all, this is what being a Christian is all about. As Pastor Ashley put it so well this morning, I’m gonna keep on steppin.

After thinking about this in church this morning I realised a few other things that were relevant:

• God will achieve His purposes for my life. They have been ordained and they will come to fruition. Not only that, God still desires to bless me unconditionally and He walks with me every day.
• My inheritance as a child of God is secure, bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus. I already have the rich blessings of that inheritance here and now as well as the promise of heaven to come. No matter what my circumstances this will remain true.
• God has promised peace that passes all understanding and I can believe that, in Him, I can walk in that peace no matter how things appear to me.

I think I’m growing through all of this. Stay tuned to see what happens next.

Well yesterday I failed to get a job that I had been pinning a lot of hopes on. I didn’t realise that I had been pinning my hopes on it until I didn’t get it but it hit me hard. 3 months and only 2 jobs that I could apply for in Adelaide had taken its toll. The obvious question “God what are you doing ?” crossed my mind more than once and indeed it still does.

Yesterday God knew what was happening and he arranged for 3 close friends to be there for me, 2 quite unexpectedly. Thanks God! Here’s what I realised:

1. I said to God that he could do whatever with my life when I became a Christian and I meant it.
2. God has a plan for my life. I may not know what it is but it is there.
3. God is not distant from me, He is with me every day desiring to bless me and sustain me.
4. What is happening may not be what I expected but it will be “good” in an eternal sense and in hindsight will probably be the starting point for something that will glorify God mightily.

The question remains though, what now ? Looking for Java work in Adelaide doesn’t seem to be working so I need to do something different. I could either look for Java work somewhere else or look for something different in Adelaide. Both of these options have major drawbacks, many of them financial. In the end the deciding factor was my church. It just doesn’t feel like I have finished what God has for me there after only 12 months. What with the music I am doing and the leadership training I am getting I have more to do there.

This means that I’m staying in Adelaide. Stay tuned for what He does next, I have the feeling it’s going to be a wild ride. All I can say to that, to quote a friend of mine, is “bring it on!”.

Just a reminder to anyone who hasn’t voted to SMS the word GUY to 1889966 (Australians only I’m afraid) about 50 times before tomorrow and then be watching tomorrow night.

Well as of this date I have been unemployed for over 3 months and I have been able to apply for exactly 2 jobs in that time and I have missed out on both of them. I’m now contemplating the prospect of actually going on the dole and let me say it is not a pleasant feeling. Those of you that pray please continue to do so and those of you that don’t might consider a relationship with Jesus as a good starting point .

Been listening to some of the music by Andy Hunter, sounds sort of cool. I think I might buy his CD Exodus (or put it on my Christmas list hint hint).

I just saw a link on Slashdot to Huminity social networking & chat software. This looks like the same thing as the old six degrees website was trying to do almost 5 years ago. I remember having a competition with my brother to see who could get the most six degrees contacts (he won hands down) but in the end it all fell into disuse. Still it seems that this software is making its creators a lot of money at the moment.